Addictions—I’m a Shopaholic!

Many times when the word Addiction pops up in conversation it's as a joke [though true], or in regards to a severe physically and/or emotionally life threatening problem. However, there are many other addictions in life that keep us from living the abundant life God has planned for us. Since I work with these “low-level” addictions in people every day, I am constantly reading and studying about them.

Out of curiosity, I decided to fill out a questionnaire to see if I had any addictions (other than food) in my life. The statistics given by the group of doctors I was reading after showed that if a person has one addiction it is most likely they have others. My goal was to prove them wrong, so I filled out the questionnaire.

It was a four section questionnaire that included money, work, shopping and food. The first section on money was a breeze—0 out of 4. The section on workaholics was almost as easy. I only checked 1 out of 6 boxes. The section on food wasn’t as good. I checked 4 out of 5 (enough to qualify me with an “addiction”). I moved on to the next section—shopping. With each true statement I read my face turned into more of a frown. I’m addicted to shopping!!!! My first clue should have been the 2 bulging bags of clothes I donated yesterday to the Good Will simply because I no longer wanted them.

I put the questionnaire down and marched outside to where my husband was busy gathering up wood chips from around the house. With my bare feet and wet hair, I must have looked like a wild woman with an unpleasant revelation.

Wide eyed and a bit agitated I asked, “Doug, do you know I’m a shopaholic?”

He looked at me solemnly and shook his head, yes.

“Just look at your bank statements.” He replied. That stung a little. I knew it was true but somehow I had dismissed it since I believe in zero debt.

After the questionnaire revealed my shopping addiction I felt defeated. In my journal I confessed my sin and wrote the question, “Why can’t I be addicted to reading the Bible, or Prayer?” The Holy Spirit nudged me with the answer by bringing a verse to my mind,

“For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”—Hebrews 4:12

Because of our innate nature of self preservation, we create addictions that make us feel good, even if it's a momentary sense of gratification. The Bible is sharper than a two-edged sword; it discerns the thoughts and intentions of our heart. We can’t be addicted to the Bible or prayer because they are sources of our freedom. Our addictions rebel and reject the live and active discernment of the WORD. Freedom is found in the pain of piercing the soul and spirit, discerning our thought and intentions.

Why do I want a new skirt?

Why am I craving that 3^rd cinnamon roll?

Since the Bible and prayer are the source of our freedom, how can we utilize them?

Submit-- “Submit yourselves therefore to God”—James 4:7. The very definition of submission makes us balk. It means to put aside our desires and follow God’s. God desires for us to:

Be healthy [1 Cor. 19:29]

Be wise stewards of money [Matthew 25:14-30]

Be holy [1 Peter 1:16]

Be Ministers of Reconciliation [2 Cor. 5:19]

[These are just a few desires the Bible maps out for us. You can continue the list as the Holy Spirit nudges you to.]

Resist—“Resist the devil”—James 4:7b. The Bible says Satan is a liar. He tempted Eve with power. His mission is to destroy every believer and to make them ineffective for Christ. When we are wrapped up in feeding our emotions via our addictions, we push ministry to the back of our minds. To resist we must push against those desires. James says that if we resist the devil, he will flee. Put key verses in your mind to use as weapons of resistance. For me the verses are:

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,” I Corinthians 6:19

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”—Ephesians 2:10

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 4:19

How about you? Do you have any hidden addictions that are interfering with your spiritual growth?

Below is a short questionnaire. Check all boxes that apply:

MONEY:

____It seems as if there is never enough money to meet my needs of the needs of my family.

____I am always paying on—but never paying off—my credit card(s).

____I have a false sense of power when I’m investing my money.

____It’s almost as if I’m trying to buy other people’s love.

WORK:

____I am a perfectionist about my work (my job or my housework)

____Everything in our house must be just so. I feel guilty if anything is out of place.

____The hours I spend at work seem to continually escalate.

____I work so hard that I sometimes burn out.

____I catch myself swinging between extremes—periods of working long hours and times of accomplishing nothing.

____Instead of working to provide for my family, I seem to live to go to work.

SHOPPING:

____I often go shopping when I’m feeling depressed or sad.

____Buying a new pair of pants or a new outfit makes me feel better.

____I feel more “in control” of my life as I select a new outfit or a new car or a new piece of furniture.

____Yet after a shopping spree I feel guilty or remorseful.

____I sometimes I shop to express anger at my husband, particularly when he is too busy at work to spend time with me.

____Sometimes I know that I am spending money that my family needs for other things.

FOOD:

____Food has become increasingly important in my life.

____I eat when I am nervous or angry.

____I crave food and think about it more than I’d like.

____I might eat to keep people from getting close to me.

____I eat when I’m sad or lonely.

The Good, The Bad and The Yummy

Christmas is the perfect season for overindulgence. I love to bake, cook, and eat yummy foods. If I'm not careful my waistline will require me to pull out the clothes I have hanging in the very back of my closet--you know, the ones with the double digits on the tag. Here is the good, bad and yummy of my Christmas season so far.

Good- A homemade hearty soup. It has immune boosting onion and garlic, carrots and potatoes, fire roasted tomatoes and turkey kielbasa. I spiced it up with sea salt, pepper, bay leaf and thyme. I needed one “good” thing on the table.

Bad- 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies, 3 dozen oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and 2 dozen iced sugar cookies.

Yummy (and bad)- Homemade cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. Let me just tell you that the recipe I used has several cups of sugar and 1 cup of butter in it! So yummy but I don’t even want to know the calories!

I feel like the patient who was talking to his weight-loss therapist about his eating problem. The therapist explained that people often eat when they are lonely, bored, sad or depressed. The patient emphatically shook his head in agreement. The therapist asked, “Well, which one causes you to overeat?”

“All of those!” The patient said, “And when I’m itchy or scared!”

Do you ever feel like that?

I do.

My goal is to make sure I’m not bored, sad, itchy or scared!

Here are the tips I plan on using this holiday:

Portion control—I will eat more sweets than I should, so I'll make a conscious decision to eat smaller portions.

Water—I bought a special plastic glass with a lid and permanent straw that will hold 20 oz. so I am making it a point to drink 4 full glasses during the day (This also keeps my portions under control). As a bonus the glass has Philippians 4:13 printed on it so I am reminded that I can do all things through Christ.

Exercise—even if I just take my Pomeranian, Alvin, for a 10 min. walk several times a day, I will do some form of exercise. Instead of pulling myself slowly up the stairs, I will sprint—as many times as I can remember to.

Sleep—yes, you read that right! Sleep is an important factor for well-being. My goal is to make sure I get a solid 8 hr. a night.

Stay Busy—my kindle fire will be used daily as I expand my brain and enhance my imagination with lots of reading (all suggestions for good reading are welcome).

How are you keeping your holiday waistline in check?

Surviving Christmas Shopping 101

It’s that time of year again! Everything looks so sparkly and colorful. Christmas music is playing in the background of every store you shop in. Everyone seems to be in the giving mood—especially the female shoppers. Don’t you love this time of year?

The downside to Christmas is how easy it can be to get caught up in the spirit of giving. Let me explain that better; the spirit of giving—which is a holy and pure spiritual gift—can melt in to the spirit of debt without careful watch. Debt is not holy and pure. The Bible tells us to “Owe no man anything, but to love one another” –Romans 13:8.

I know it’s easy to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. I LOVE buying gifts and dread looking at my bank account when I make my list. The “spirit of debt” whispers for me to use my credit card. The “spirit of giving” reassures me that the amount paid doesn’t change the love given.

This year I asked God to help me be wise in my gift buying. My oldest girl wants a $200 pair of boots—she will learn to be content with a less expensive pair. My oldest boy wants a $199 gaming system—he will appreciate the $14.00 game for his existing gaming system. If we have to buy our children’s love then there is a breakdown in our family dynamics.

How can we keep our gift-giving holy and pure? Here are a few tips I am following this year:

Determine a budget. Write down the amount of money you have to spend and stick to it! Hide your credit cards if necessary.

Make a list of who you are buying gifts for—do you really need to buy a gift for your husband’s cousin’s friend. I don’t have the budget to buy for my six siblings and their multiple children, plus my husband’s five siblings and their children. I refuse to go into debt to buy love and acceptance (we can talk about that in another post).

Have a set number of gifts (not a $ amount) you want to spend on each person. Most people will say to set a dollar amount per person but I have learned kids don’t care how much, they care how many. If you buy for all of your extended family members, consider buying a family gift instead or exchanging names.

Have fun! Keep your motives right. If Christmas gift-giving is a competition between family members, you need a heart check. Gift-giving should be about celebrating the birth of our Savior and showing love in a tangible way.

What are your Christmas Gift Giving Tips?

Love it or Hate it—Got to Have it!

"Self-Control--a fruit of the Holy Spirit, is not possible when a life is controlled by sin. Sin is a transgression against God, and therefore, the antithesis of self-control."

Did you know that self-control is a deliberate act? It is a learned response. I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is Americans haven’t learned this response. According to the Get America Fit Foundation 58 Million Americans are overweight; 40 Million are obese; 3 Million are morbidly Obese. This study doesn't figure the millions addicted to drugs, alcohol, and other life destroying vices.

The good news is you don’t have to be one of those millions!

Even though the above stats are an example of one area, lack of self-control can be just as sinful in the quiet, masked areas of our life that we cover up.

“The world is out of control because of people who are undisciplined. Many illnesses and inappropriate behaviors are due to lack of control.”—Rhonda Kelly

Synonyms for self-control are “willpower” and “self-discipline”. We think willpower is something we posses if we get up every morning at the same time without complaining. However, we don’t realize that lack of willpower is what has us reaching for a second helping of food, watching television instead of folding laundry, or chatting on the phone instead of having our Bible study time.

Today when I was studying about self-control I was convicted. I was reading about Daniel in the Bible. He is a wonderful example of self-control. In Daniel 1:8 it says that he “determined that he would not defile himself with the king’s food or with the wine he drank.”

Imagine being taken to a five star resort with an unlimited amount of the best food available. Your pass card gives you the ability to eat until your heart’s desire. Would you smile politely and ask for cooked vegetables and water? I doubt it. If you’re like me you would ask if a new plate was required for each pass to the buffet! Daniel had self-discipline.

“Daniel’s self-discipline strengthened him for the work God had prepared for him.”

That phrase has haunted me today. It is probably a good thing since today is a fast day for SCF. I believe that the self-control Daniel exhibited in chapter 1:8 prepared him to continue praying three times a day even though a den of lions awaited him.

Terry Young wrote a book called, The Spirit Within You, and concluded that “self-control is the expression of the mature life which has learned to walk with God in perfect obedience.”

I have been given the power of self-control through the Spirit of God that dwells within. Without the supernatural Godpower to propel my self-control I may never be strong enough for the work God has prepared for me.

“So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.”—Romans 14:12

How can we learn the response of self-control?

• Acknowledgment—acknowledge that you are lacking self-control. Admit honestly the areas in your life you need Supernatural Godpower.

• Confession—once you’ve recognized your lack of self-control, confess it (I John 1:9).

• Determination—after you’ve confessed your lack of discipline to the Lord, be determined to live a disciplined, righteous life (Titus 2:11-14).
  

(If you are like me, you will probably need to follow that three step process on a daily basis!)

God will personalize discipline in your life. He works and convicts according to your need. God may be convicting you about one or more of the following areas:

Time

Money

Exercise

Food

Words

Personal Relationship with Him

Private life

Whatever He brings to your mind; acknowledge it, confess it and determine to be different.

“Self-discipline is doing something even if you hate it or don’t feel like doing it.”

Remember that “when our limited human willpower fails, God’s supernatural power succeeds”!